How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
