Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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