you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize