I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
