I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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