So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
