also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
