So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My feet surprised me
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