Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
