jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
