Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
