yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize