So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize