after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize