I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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