did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
