Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
