we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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