matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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