My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
