AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
