He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
