nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
