Will you blow on my dice?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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