I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
