i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
