I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
