No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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