we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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