This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
