More tranny stories later!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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