it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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