I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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