Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
whose ass print is on the piano?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
