I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
