Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
