Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
