I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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