his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm just crazy horny about you
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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