And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
