you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
