your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize