there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
