but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
