dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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