so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
