I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize