Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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