i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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