There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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