we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
