hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Welp...herpes.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
