my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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