If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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