so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
