i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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