Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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