Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize