Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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