seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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