to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
