If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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