I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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