I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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