ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
