Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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