Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
