Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
