So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
accomplished twins. life is a go
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
