Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
