Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
