im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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