It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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