If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
