So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize