We won't sleep together?
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
