the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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