I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
