I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
