Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
