I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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