I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
